What Should I Look For?
A priest we know quoted one of his teachers in the seminary:
"If anyone tells you they would like to be your spiritual director, RUN!"
This is excellent advice. There are a lot of people out there want to help you so they can feed their own ego or brag about all the disciples they have. Some of these types even write books and have PhD's. Don't be fooled by credentials.
A spiritual director is not a peer. Groupings and fellowships are important and maybe essential, but most of us also could use the guidance (at times) of someone already standing where we want to be. If a person you are considering as a spiritual director does not impress you as the kind of person you wish you could be, they are not the one. It is entirely possible no one you know fits this description. Remember that you don't have to have one, and that if the Lord does not put the right person in your path, it must not be his will. Of course, if your dominant fault is pride you have little chance of obtaining successful spiritual direction anyway, because it will affect both your choice and your acceptance of direction. See our page on the "Seven Deadly Sins."
For Spiritual DirectorsThere are two principal models worth considering:
Spiritual directors are not psychics or fortune tellers. If you are referred to a spiritual director that claims to have special information about the "end times" or has set a date for the Second Coming, avoid that person and the one that referred you as well. Spiritual directors that receive special/miraculous graces from God do not advertise. They are loath to speak of any of the wonderful private graces they receive. They are suspect if they talk about themselves at all.
First of all, if you are having visions, hearing voices or experiencing spiritual phenomena, see your priest or minister right away and be very frank about what is happening. They may refer you to a doctor.
If you have had some success with prayer, and pray often, perhaps it is time. If you are doing better at resisting sin, and in fact feel less tempted than before, maybe it is time. If you realize that your worst sins are pride, envy, gluttony, laziness, etc… it is a great time.
No. Lots of good Christians never have spiritual directors. If you find someone worth trying, do. If it doesn't work out, let it go. Always pray for the grace of the Holy Spirit no matter what. The Holy Spirit will guide you with or without a spiritual director if you desire it: this is a promise from Jesus.
You can mail us, and we will put some new material here based on the reply. Check "Higher Ground" for updates on this subject. You can also look at our Web Site: http://www.rushman.org. There are many links and essays to help you in your growth.
May you grow in the love of God!
Below are notes from a handout on spiritual direction. I've lost track of where it came from. If it helps, great. If not, let it go. It's a little too "New Age" in some ways…but has some good points.
How have we served you?