A Catholic Guide - March 9, 2004
Risks involved in spiritual direction occur in two areas: the director and the one seeking direction. The risk shared and created by both, but is not unique to spiritual direction. In any relationship, the natural charity intended by God may be thwarted by self interest or sin. This is an important point: the problems and risks in spiritual direction are the same as in any human endeavor. What starts with the best intentions may fail in sin or ignorance; any common effort between people depends on mutual trust, respect and commitment to God.
The following guide is not the classic list, but is informed by it.
There is always the danger that the director will come to a self-definition as director. In anything we do, we can come to put the work we are doing ahead of the reason for doing it. Art, law, medical research, news reporting, even religion can become an end in itself. John the Baptist was the perfect spiritual director, always sending would-be disciples to Jesus and trying to get out of the way. Spiritual direction should be the reason for no one's existence. It is simply a task, a skill, given to some for the benefit of others. We would do well to remember Dietrich von Hildebrand's focus on freedom in "Transformation in Christ." We can love and serve best if we are truly free, and this includes freedom from concerns about our necessity or purpose. Christ came "not to be served, but to serve," and we serve in Christ, in the freedom of Christ.
Personal attachment is a risk for both the director and the one seeking direction. From the director's side, the danger is that they will need disciples and develop a messiah complex, largely dependent on followers to keep their own ego inflated. Some people seeking direction will want to be somewhat dominated, while others will desire affirmation of what they already believe. The attachment-oriented director will supply what the market demands, never really challenging and sometimes pandering, while inadvertently allowing a dependence to build up in the other person. Detachment has long been preached in the Church, and it is far more important for a spiritual director. At worst, attachment can become use, with the director using the other person to gratify their spiritual or physical needs. All the director's legitimate needs are met by Christ; it is not for the shepherd to feast on the sheep.
...a master ought to be unfamiliar with the desire to dominate, vainglory, and pride; one should not be able to confuse him by flattery, nor blind him by gifts, nor overcome him by the stomach, nor control him by anger; but he should be patient, gentle and humble as far as possible, he must be tried and without partiality, full of concern, and a lover of souls.
Amma Thedora, Egyptian ascetic and hermit in the desert, fifth century
Quoted in Writings on Spiritual Direction, Neufelder and Coelho, p. 42
The role of judge or external conscience can be given to the director by the person seeking direction. In this situation, the director does not assist in spiritual growth but operates as a consultant, answering questions of right and wrong, or even giving advice in worldly matters. The spiritual director should always guide but never lead, taking the example of guide dogs or even Antigone. The guide does not determine the destination, speed or reason for a journey, but only assists in avoiding dangers and providing expert information. It pleases the ego to have someone ask us which job they should choose or whether they should marry, but these are not questions for us to answer for another. It is only for us to model the art of internal dialogue: "What are the merits for your options? What disadvantages do you see?" And to borrow again from Hildebrand, "confront all things with Christ." Again and again, the spiritual director is called to shine the light of Christ on those areas the person seeking direction chooses. Certainly, the director can and should answer questions about the teachings of the Church, but this must be done in a way that does not impart the director's own personal applications. Even questions such as, "how should I view my obligation to the poor?" should be answered with another question, "What did Christ tell you?" This is not a request for information about a vision, but simply pointing the person back to the Gospel. And we must be clear that by "Gospel" we do not mean the four Gospels of the Bible but the entirety of the Good News preached by Jesus and passed on through the Apostles and bishops. In short, it means the teaching of the Church.
Remarks outside competency consist of judgments and opinions about which the director has no certain knowledge. St. Francis de Sales considered charity, knowledge and prudence above all else in a spiritual director. (Introduction to the Devout Life) Persons seeking direction may bring books or articles to the director and ask for an opinion; questions about the meaning of films or worth of political candidates may need answers; conjecture about church politics may be sought. Remarks on these subjects are usually not what the person needs to grow spiritually, and the director's task may well be to gently bring the conversation back to what is important, or simply say, "I don't know." It takes tremendous discipline to avoid giving an opinion on every subject, especially when the director is also an authority figure, such as a priest or teacher, but we must remember that the director's opinion may be confused with Church teaching or even with a "divine view." Far better to speak only what we know, and listen more than we speak.
Ridgidity pertains to having a particular spiritual method or agenda which the director then imposes on each person in their care. It may be a strong and reasonable belief that The Spritual Exercises of St. Ignatius work for everyone, or that every spiritual problem can be solved with a twelve-step program. A spiritual director must seek the good of the other person and be able to guide those with a vastly different spirituality, or else direct only those of a similar temperament and vocation. We must remember that Jesus dealt with each person according to who they were; the centurion, the woman at the well, the men crucified with him. St. Paul followed this example in preaching to the Gentiles, and in particular when speaking at the Areopagus. (Acts 17) There is nothing wrong with suggesting books or other helps, but it must be done in a spirit of exploration, not as absolutes, and the person's character and experience must be taken into account. If the person seeking direction is especially bothered by the idea of demons, C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters would be ill advised. Spiritual direction is not an appropriate way to promote an agenda, either, even a good one. The spiritual director may work with the poor, but the person directed may be called to teach. It would be a great offense against the person to convince them to leave teaching and work in poverty programs in such a case. A variation on this is when a person in charge of a parish or program uses their position as spiritual director to gain volunteers. Respect for the personal calling by Christ is essential, and the freedom of the person being directed must be left intact.
A spiritual technician is often rigid, but the difference is in the systematic approach to prayer and the spiritual life. Thomas Merton, in his talks to novices, mentions the Hasidic wisdom story about having the right key to the right lock. Some spiritual directors advocate a methodology, with specific steps and approaches to achieving certain spiritual goals. According to Merton, the writer goes on to say that it is better to break the lock, which is the heart, than to use the keys. There is a great freedom in this, and a respect for the action of the Holy Spirit, which moves as it will, surprising us with resurrections at every turn. As Don Bosco said when discussing ways to teach the young, patience is needed. The spiritual director must feel their way, guiding the other person while finding the solid path that will bear their weight, neither in a hurry to take a step nor afraid to move.
Many models for spiritual direction exist, but perhaps they are all too technical. The director as spiritual father, master, guru, coach, messenger, gardener, friend, fellow traveller, all tend to emphasize the director. When we are asked to be a spiritual director, we can get a rush of ego and want to make a big affair of it, but it is far better to offer our services as a friend and reject the label. As we learn from Christ, friendship does not have to go both ways, for he was our friend before we were his.
A view not often expressed is that the spiritual director helps model the inner dialogue between the person and God. At one point, we speak for the person seeking direction, teaching them by example how to talk to God and listen for His voice. At another time, we may speak for God, usually by drawing on the rich traditions of the Church, the example of the Saints, Church teachings or the Scriptures. We both show how to approach God and how to listen. The spiritual director speaks from experience, and sometimes reveals the movements of their own soul when necessary.
The life of the spiritual director should be so spiritually rich that there is no temptation to use other people. What is given, in time or care, is given from an abundance supplied and maintained by God, so abundant that others see and seek it, asking to share in the spiritual bounty of Christ. The love of Christ flows through the spiritual director and the person seeking direction learns to recognize this love and respond to it; the task of the spiritual director is to show the love of God and model the Christian response.
The Seven Deadly Sins can provide a help in both assisting with the way of purgation and also with keeping the heart of the director clear and free of self interest. It is not necessary to make this explicit at the beginning of spiritual direction, but it can be useful for many situations. For those familiar with Dante's Divine Comedy, there can be a sense of moving up through the sins, purging ourselves of each in turn. One spiritual advisor has said that the gross, earthy sins, such as lust and gluttony, can blind us to the spiritual ones. Ideas like this, explored together in direction, can yield good results, but as C.S. Lewis often said, let it go if it doesn't work.
It is absolutely essential to remember that the spiritual directors of Saints were not always Saints. A spiritual director may counsel a person who will far exceed their own commitment to God. Ideally, the spiritual director will feel in awe, not of the person seeking direction, but of the mercy of God in what He does for His children. To be in the presence of conversion is a gift, and the spiritual director has been privileged with a front-row seat. Yet this must never be the focus. The spiritual director is a servant, not a leech. The person seeking direction has a right to whatever the spiritual director can give, and should not get overly romantic about the matter, praising the other person's "spirituality." We are not called to judge, favorably or unfavorably.
Catholic priests are often called upon to be spiritual directors, and so deserve special mention. Through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, or Confession, they can both advise as a fallible human and forgive as Christ. This is a compelling advantage, but bears risks worthy of mention. Because priests and bishops are considered clergy, they are often lumped in with the religious traditions of the millenia, a motley and often vile group. The world's idea, in the sense of which Christ said "my kingdom is not of this world," is that clergy are here to comfort and be intermediaries between God and Man. This idea is in conflict with the priesthood established by Christ, although not all see the issue. The role of the priest, given authority by the bishop, is not to comfort or judge, or rule, or be the intermediary, but to be the presence of Christ in a special way, as his "sacramental representatives in the presbyteral order." (http://www.usccb.org/plm/ongoing.htm#commitment) There is often a temptation to comfort a sinner, or lighten their load by teaching an acceptance of their habits or sins, although some priests go the other way and try to work the person's emotions into a lather of repentance. We are free from sin, in Christ, and have been given the grace to "sin no more." We may fall, but it does no good to tell a person making a resolution that they will fall again. They may not, but no one should attempt to moderate the hope and determination of another. Everyone knows they fall, but not everyone knows they can choose to do better.
The advice of a priest in spiritual matters carries far too much weight for many, so great care must be exercised. Doctrine must be stated clearly, and opinions or interpretations given as seldom as possible. The perceived authority of the priest goes much farther than the Church teaches, but this can be helpful in breaking down barriers, too. Ending spiritual direction with absolution, when appropriate, gives real Grace and power to the resolutions made. With the preceived role of the laity changing to a more active one, especially after Vatican II, some priests have questioned their worth, leading to a potential conflict of interest: if the laity become holy, what will the priests do? The answer is that they would shepherd a holy people, celebrating the sacraments with them. It is not the purpose of priests to be holy on behalf of the People of God, but to assist them in becoming that which they are called to be. Spiritual direction serves this purpose, too.